It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Randomize
