Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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