I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize