did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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