well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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