i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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