I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I want to fling myself into the sun
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize