No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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