Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
