Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
