Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
