Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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