Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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