Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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