Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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