doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
