dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize