maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I think i got beer on your cat.
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