What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
