Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize
