We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
