Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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