oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Randomize
