Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize