so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
