He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
