They should really pass out barf bags in church
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
