What did we do last night that was yellow?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Randomize
