Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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