So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
false alarm. still invincible.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
