I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I look better un-naked...
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
