Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
