you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
