I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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