Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
It's just like the Real World with babies
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
