sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Randomize
