Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
