I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
We have so much sex to catch up on
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
