Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
