you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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