thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
