I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Your dad touched me again.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
