The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Randomize
