something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
