yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
smell my finger.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
