How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
and i looked up. we had an audience...
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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