What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
