Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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