well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
