batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
