We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
