u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
If I die, sorry about rent.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
