At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I just sucked dick on a ferry
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
