Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Everclear isn't food dammit
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
