He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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