Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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