Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
it's like iHOP with fire
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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