Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
