I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
