I wanna bring you to show and tell
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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