She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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