i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
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