It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
