is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
