I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize