the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
