it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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