Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
